Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
You Got Lice or Something?
Recent quotes from the students I tutor.
Me: What's your least favorite subject?
Girl: Science!
Me: What do you think you want to study in college?
Girl: Forensic Science.
Me: [blank stare]
Girl: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Me: I am grown up.
Girl: Then why don't you got kids?
Boy: You look like an actress.
Me: Which one?
Boy: I don't know, you just look famous.
Girl1: Lindsay Lohan! You look like her!
Me: Noooo.
Girl2: No, the Ghost Whisperer girl.
Girl1: Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yeah a mix of her and Lindsay!
Boy: No.
Girl2: When you were in middle school what did you want to be when you got old?
Me: Jacqueline Kennedy
Everyone: WHO??
Girl3: Why do you keep scratching your hair? You got lice or something?
Me: No, I'm fluffing my hair. It's a bad habit.
Girl3: White people get lice.
Me: I have never had lice.
Girl3: Then stop touching your head!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Me: What's your least favorite subject?
Girl: Science!
Me: What do you think you want to study in college?
Girl: Forensic Science.
Me: [blank stare]
Girl: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Me: I am grown up.
Girl: Then why don't you got kids?
Boy: You look like an actress.
Me: Which one?
Boy: I don't know, you just look famous.
Girl1: Lindsay Lohan! You look like her!
Me: Noooo.
Girl2: No, the Ghost Whisperer girl.
Girl1: Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yeah a mix of her and Lindsay!
Boy: No.
Girl2: When you were in middle school what did you want to be when you got old?
Me: Jacqueline Kennedy
Everyone: WHO??
Girl3: Why do you keep scratching your hair? You got lice or something?
Me: No, I'm fluffing my hair. It's a bad habit.
Girl3: White people get lice.
Me: I have never had lice.
Girl3: Then stop touching your head!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Saturday, August 20, 2011
No Pain, No Gain (or, First World Problems)
Awhile ago I bought a groupon for laser hair removal, six sessions worth. Yesterday was session one.
This is my Session One story.
First of all, when you're in a waiting room of an establishment that does cosmetic surgery, the natural thing to do is figure out why everyone else in the waiting room is there. Right?... No, that's just me? I'm a horrible person sometimes. In my defense, I assumed everyone else there had the laser hair groupon, too.
Except that one lady whose face didn't move. Botox for sure.
Anyway. I would like to share something with you, reader. It's probably too personal, but here it is: I've been getting not only my bikini area waxed, but also my legs waxed, for 8 years (there is some sort of hidden Italian gene in my family). I know pain. I can handle pain. I could definitely handle a little laser on my bikini line, that has to be better than hot wax being ripped off your skin over and over.
They tell you laser hair removal is easy. Sort of feels like someone popping a rubber band on your skin. And they're exactly right.
IF THE RUBBER BAND IS 1000 DEGREES AND BURNS LIKE THE SUN.
The worst part is that they have to go over the area three times in one session. It goes something like this:
Round 1- HOLY! What the! Why!
[break] Deep breathes. I can do this.
Round 2- You're saying names of saints you didn't even know existed. Trying to remember to breathe.
[break] I can't do this again. The LEAST a person could do is offer a lady a stiff drink before torturing her. If ever I've wanted a shot of tequila, that time is now. Stop this train- You're now doing the type of breathing women do while in labor.
Round 3- This is Eve's fault. She ate the apple and now I have to get hair removed from my body by means of death lasers. A million bucks says these lasers are giving me cancer. Or killing all of my eggs... But really that part's okay because if childbirth is worse than this...
And then it's over and the nice lady in the hot pink scrubs smiles her face-lifted smile at you.
It's worth it. I've been promised it's worth it. But I feel obligated to tell you what to expect, just in case you find yourself sitting in a waiting room on a plush armchair that says "Botox saved my marriage", waiting for your name to be called so that you can look at lipo "before and after" pictures while hair is burned unnaturally from your body.
I get to do this once a month for five more months. So, I have that to look forward to.
This is my Session One story.
First of all, when you're in a waiting room of an establishment that does cosmetic surgery, the natural thing to do is figure out why everyone else in the waiting room is there. Right?... No, that's just me? I'm a horrible person sometimes. In my defense, I assumed everyone else there had the laser hair groupon, too.
Except that one lady whose face didn't move. Botox for sure.
Anyway. I would like to share something with you, reader. It's probably too personal, but here it is: I've been getting not only my bikini area waxed, but also my legs waxed, for 8 years (there is some sort of hidden Italian gene in my family). I know pain. I can handle pain. I could definitely handle a little laser on my bikini line, that has to be better than hot wax being ripped off your skin over and over.
They tell you laser hair removal is easy. Sort of feels like someone popping a rubber band on your skin. And they're exactly right.
IF THE RUBBER BAND IS 1000 DEGREES AND BURNS LIKE THE SUN.
The worst part is that they have to go over the area three times in one session. It goes something like this:
Round 1- HOLY! What the! Why!
[break] Deep breathes. I can do this.
Round 2- You're saying names of saints you didn't even know existed. Trying to remember to breathe.
[break] I can't do this again. The LEAST a person could do is offer a lady a stiff drink before torturing her. If ever I've wanted a shot of tequila, that time is now. Stop this train- You're now doing the type of breathing women do while in labor.
Round 3- This is Eve's fault. She ate the apple and now I have to get hair removed from my body by means of death lasers. A million bucks says these lasers are giving me cancer. Or killing all of my eggs... But really that part's okay because if childbirth is worse than this...
And then it's over and the nice lady in the hot pink scrubs smiles her face-lifted smile at you.
It's worth it. I've been promised it's worth it. But I feel obligated to tell you what to expect, just in case you find yourself sitting in a waiting room on a plush armchair that says "Botox saved my marriage", waiting for your name to be called so that you can look at lipo "before and after" pictures while hair is burned unnaturally from your body.
I get to do this once a month for five more months. So, I have that to look forward to.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Warehouse Shoot
Saturday I did an impromptu photo shoot with one of my coworkers, Adrian. He had access to this old warehouse next door to Iguana Grill that was home to lots of dust, blue walls, nooks and crannies, a Vespa, and old theatre parts and props.
Not only did I forget my good lip stuff, but I was also having a bad hair (bangs) day, and Adrian still was able to take good photos! That's talent. Email iamadrianrodriguez@gmail.com for info and rates.
By the way, Wayne Coyne drove his little green Toyota Prius right into the warehouse mid-shoot. Fun guy. I guess I thought he traveled around in his bubble everywhere...
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| [taken with a real-deal film camera] |
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| [taken with a real-deal film camera] |
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
My Birthday Weekend in iPhone Photos
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| My sweet dad has sent me birthday flowers every single year since I was 6! Take note, future husband. |
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| Kicked off birthday weekend on Friday with a lovely lunch and yummy dessert with Em. Love sharing my birthday month with you, sister. |
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| Pretty presents from some very precious friends. |
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| Gotta show off my birthday outfit and birthday spray tan! |
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| Wonderful friends. |
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| Watching the slam dunk comp, obviously! |
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| So much fun. |
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| [Helga photos by Gina King.] |
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| BEAUTIFUL friends, BEAUTIFUL day. |
Saturday I had lunch with my mom at Cool Greens (yum, I know), and she informed me that they had received a package with my name on it that they hadn't ordered. I got SO excited, what could it be?!
It was my prescription medicine that automatically refills itself every three months.
Sigh. You know you're old when...
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